I don't for a minute regret being an openly gay man, and I consider my life now to be a drastic improvement over life in the closet.At the same time, I can't help but grimace at the "it gets better" trope for the way it glosses over so many problems within the gay community.But adulthood should be about repairing those wounds and learning to love myself as I am.Instead, I'm surrounded by people who, despite having faced the same oppression I have as gay men, largely refuse to embrace me at my current size.
I want to be clear — it has gotten better for me since I came out.But the treatment of overweight people is, for the most part, lost on them. The common understanding is that fatness is unhealthy and unnatural and always the fat person's fault, despite the fact that science does not agree with these assessments.And that's largely because so many of my allies and fellow gay men championing equality — compassionate, forward-thinking individuals — are the same people delicately suggesting I lose some weight. And suddenly, otherwise good people — those who are proud to not have a bigoted bone in their bodies — feel no shame in condemning us fatties. Being fat is never easy, but in the spirit of National Coming Out Week, I'm offering this potentially controversial perspective: As hard as it is to be gay, being fat and gay makes everything so much worse.Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.And the most common answer is: “I worry that I’m too fat to date.” I’ll be honest: I’m not surprised. According to the Center for Disease Control, 69% of adults 20 years old and over are overweight and 35% are considered obese.